Absorbing Happiness

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Thirty-two years ago, I made a decision that has changed my life and has made it the enjoyable, serene and mystical life it is.

I had just finished college, graduating 18 years after I first started. I stayed at my first school from freshman year through my junior year. And then depression got me. It knocked me down, walked on me and destroyed my life. Well, almost, it just made the life I had miserable.

I dropped out of school twice as a result of the depression, both times in March, a year apart. I would call my parents, who lived 250 miles north of where I was at school, and tell them to come get me. They came. I still remember them arriving at first the dorm room and then in The International House where I lived when I was a junior. I hadn’t packed anything. I was sitting in a daze, staring. Mom packed everything, Dad put it in the car and we started the long 4 hour drive back home. 

I think if I’d been them I would have told me to wait until the next day, but they didn’t do that. The next day either Dad or Mom would take me to the doctor to see what was going on. Mom was convinced I was taking drugs, because in 1970, everybody my age was taking drugs. Well, not everybody and not me. She never believed me though. She always thought I did it to myself.

I wallowed around in self-pity and anger and depression for YEARS. It felt like a century. Finally I was given Ram Dass’s book, Be Here Now by a social worker who was particularly supportive of me. No way it sunk in then, but it took on a power all it’s own and as time went on, I bought my own copy, read it and tried to live it.

I was 21 at that time. It looks me 13 years to find myself again. I had always been psychic. I saw auras around people. I felt their emotions. The worst part for me was being an empathetic. I would take on whatever problems or feelings or fears someone in my life had. I was a chameleon.

I felt like a psychic sponge. I knew I had to learn to control it or sublimate it or something. Because there was no way it was going away on its own. It was THERE.

As I grew into working full-time as a psychic, I laughed when both Mom and Dad would tell me they felt they’d always been psychic too. Once, when they were in Michigan on a visit, Mom and I were in the kitchen and I was telling her about the previous owner of our home. He had passed away 20 years previously, but yet I saw him walking around the outside of the house. He had been the one who planted all of the apple trees, the crabapple tree in the front yard and the flowering bushes. He loved his yard. Mom looked at me, put her finger to her head and twirled it. I got the message.

My son was 12 then. I called him into the kitchen and asked him if he ever saw our visitor. He said yes. I asked him what he was wearing. He said a white tee shirt and khaki pants. Ding goes the bell! Right first time. Mom looked shocked.

It wasn’t the first “ghost” we had in one of our homes. Our previous residence was a great old house in Detroit. The owner had died and that’s why it was sold. She had been an older widow and she too loved her home. I used to see her in her nightgown and robe in my closet. I do not know why she loved that closet but I think it’s because usually old homes have tiny closets and this one had been enlarged when the master bedroom was turned from two bedrooms into one.

My son saw her too. He said she was on her way to the bathroom in the hallway when he would spot her. 

There weren’t any visitations at our home on PEI. There was an overwhelming feeling of sadness though. The previous owners had built the house and had always said that corners would be cut so they could afford it. Well, corners were cut but it still was way more than they could afford. The husband died after only 5 years in the house and his wife could barely stand to stay there. When we bought it, it was on the market for a long time. They had agreed to having a dam built by Ducks Unlimited and the province. As part of that agreement, they allowed fishing on the opposite side of the resulting 8 acre pond and off the road.

It wasn’t a happy experience. That was the major reason for us leaving there. They started to make me forget who I am and become like them. So we left. The last time I drove over the Confederation Bridge I felt an immense sense of peace.

Now I live in a 103-year-old home that doesn’t have any negativity at all. I feel the happiness that the previous occupants felt. It sits on a square with one of our many city parks in the middle. The view is wonderful, large old trees, open grass and it is also a dog park so there’s always cute dogs getting walked or playing frisbee. No one is rude or obnoxious. They appreciate the park and they treat it and the residents of the square well.

 

 

 

 

 

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